Professional networking is often viewed as taking advantage of people we know. We think of it as “using” people to gain access to other people in positions of influence – primarily to get us what we want. But I believe it is kindness when networking is applied as a two-way street or reciprocal courtesy. I am outgoing. I will introduce myself to complete strangers and start a conversation. Some people, though are shy, introverted, or just uncomfortable and don’t know what to say.

A wonderful mentor of mind once told me that some people aren’t kind to others, simply because they don’t know how to recognize the opportunities. We all have different personalities and some of us just aren’t that attuned to other people’s needs. We are not unkind. We are just unaware. So, here is what I learned from my mentor many years ago:

1. Be a mentor yourself.
You can find someone who needs your guidance, but it can be time consuming. If that’s too much of a commitment, I’ve come up with the “Mini-Mentor” plan. When you attend events, look for someone who is not included, who is standing “outside the circle”, sitting alone, or who is new. Introduce yourself and ask that person to join you as you find a table, go through a buffet, or participate in a meeting. Introduce the new person to 2 other people you know. Suggest they exchange business cards or contact information. Send an email to your new contact after the event and just thank the person for helping you settle in at the event. They’ll be surprised, but at the next event, when you bump into one another, you can do the mini-mentor action together. This practice expands, exponentially – I promise.

2. Don’t wait for your professional needs to be noticed.
Ask people you know for help. Most people who have the ability to help, actually enjoy doing it. If you have to tell them what needs doing – so what?

“Would you introduce me to So and So?”
“How would you advise me to handle my ___________ situation?”
“Tell me about your career path – what got you to your current position?”
“Could you recommend a good doctor/babysitter/lawyer/recruiting firm?”
“What companies should I pursue if I don’t achieve a career in XYZ Company?”

These are all simple questions to which people can answer Yes and deliver the information. You will feel grateful to have their assistance, and they will feel glad to have been asked.

Sounds like a win-win proposition to me!